breathing playing

Something worth thinking about :)

In love, notes, relationships, zen on June 16, 2011 at 11:32 pm

Foreword: this is my translation of an article my friend posted about love in Buddhism (in Vietnamese). I just thought I really wanted to share it with you. It may be a little wordy, but what it says is really true, to all of us, to some extent, depending on how we comprehend it.

“Buddhism says, understanding is prior to love, love has to be made of understanding.”

In Buddhism, mercy comes with intelligence. Without understanding, you cannot fully love. Without understanding, you cannot truly love. Understanding is the foundation for love.

Your life partner is someone who both understands and loves you.

There are four factors of love:

1- The ability to bring happiness to your lover. Love is not about taking; it’s about giving. To love someone truly is to make the person happy every single day.

2- The ability of your lover to share your pain, not bring you more pain. The one who really loves you is the one who knows how to share and alleviate your burden.

Love is to bring happiness to each other, to share each other’s pain. Affection, temporary passion cannot be called love. Mercy in love doesn’t just come. It requires learning and practicing. It needs time, and more time, to observe, to listen, to understand your lover’s pain, to help your lover get over their problems.

3- True love should make both sides happy.

4- There must be no discrimination in love. One’s happiness is the other’s. One’s sorrow is also the other’s.

Be honest with yourself and ask yourself this question: Has your love been made up of these four factors?

“Sex and love”

In Asian (or more specifically, Vietnamese) culture, the self and the mind are one. If you don’t respect the self, you don’t respect the mind neither. Love is “safeguarding” and respect each other. Without respect, there is no true love.

Your body is like your soul. There are thoughts and feelings you would only share with your lover. The same for your body, there are sacred and private places you don’t want anyone to come to except the one you love, trust, and want to spend your whole life with.

In a merciful love, any act and behavior should show respect. The guy needs to respect the girl he loves, both body and soul. The girl who knows how to keep herself, also makes her lover respect her more, and nurture long term happiness.

P.S. There is a great difference between LOVE, and TRUE LOVE….:)

(Original speech by Thich Nhat Hanh, partly translated by my close friend – Ly)


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